Ever feel like someone is sitting on your chest holding a pillow over your face and the only thing you can do is flail your arms and legs?  Or maybe this, you have people that rely on you to do stuff, you have bills that need to be paid, you have debt to be be paid off...and the harder you try to worse off you feel?  Or maybe this one will for you...you're walking alone, and all of a sudden you step in quicksand and start to sink, you struggle to get out and all that happens is you sink faster?

I know everyone at some point in the course of their lives hit these moments.  These moments where you feel like you are failing and the only option you have to work harder and feel more miserable. You get through it and life goes on.  I know it goes on. I know it will be ok.  Yet I don't, I can't escape the feeling that I am drowning. I want to retreat.  I think of all the reading that I've been doing on survival and primitive living and it sounds so charming.  Can you imagine walking into the woods and making it your home.  Not needing cable because you are surround by entertainment.  Not needing to pay an electricity bill or heating bill because you can spark up a fire and have all the light and heat you need.  Sigh.

It's been a crazy ride to this point.  (This point being now and the ride starting from the time the doc slapped my slimy ass.)  I feel like life is coming fast and I want it to slow down.  I'm 26.  By no means old, but shouldn't I be better off?  When I say better off, I mean financially.  I don't want anyone to think I am unhappy with those I have around me and where I am now.  I'm not unhappy, I'm glad for all that I have.  I'm just strung out right now...life's hectic...I'm trying to get things under control that went out of control in the years that have passed.  I have to stop digging the hole and start filling it in.

Today's all that matters, and just for today, the hole won't get any deeper.